Stuff We Did This Weekend

It's still only Sunday, but we're definitely not doing anything today, except maybe eating a hamburger later.

1. Woke up at six this morning completely overwhelmed with anxiety about an author whose manuscript we loved and put in "Steve's" To Read ASAP pile, which "Steve" has not had time to read because "Steve" is busy doing work for, you know, clients "Steve" already has, and so said ms has been hanging out in limbo for, oh, three months now, and really deep down we know this book is too commercial to be literary but not commercial enough to be commercial and will not ever actually get published, but this author is so nice and charming and occasionally sends us funny, totally appropriate, friendly check-in emails re: the status of his manuscript, and we respond in a positive fashion while knowing someday soon we will be composing a rejection letter and so maybe we should actually tell "Steve" not to bother reading and get the rejection over with on Monday so as to put the poor author out of his anticipatory misery. AUGH. Sometimes being The Assistant is disturbingly similar to DATING. AUGH.

2. Engaged in battle of wills with Auxiliary Support Team, who has commenced hunger strike in response to our purchase of wildly inferior brand of cat food (i.e. costs $17/lb. instead of $22/lb.). Guerrilla tactics employed by AST include but not limited to: rising at 4am and catapulting self from room to room, attempting to set fatal booby trap with catnip mouse, sulking behind refrigerator, eating fragile houseplants, and using table leg as scratching post. We are keeping our powder dry, but fear the enemy may triumph.

3. Practiced our tektoniks.