We are totally riding the waaaahmbulance today, author-friends; it's just been one of those weeks where the End of Days seems very close, we are real weepy about the bats and the bees and the polar bears, and, on a wholly selfish note, we are feeling more than a little uncertain about the prospect of us ever having a job that a. includes health insurance, b. is not food service, and c. does not involve being sent out to fetch comestibles for another fully functional and able-bodied adult. Not that we're not grateful to be gainfully employed while Manhattan is still above water

So why don't you distract us, dear author-friends, by giving us a platform to talk about our Very Favorite Subject Ever: Ourself! Oh, okay, or publishing. Email your very best and smartest questions to rejectionistandyourmom (at) and we will do our very best and smartest to, uh, answer them. Be exciting! Be clever! Don't ask us why your query has been rejected 195,462 times! We don't know! Because either 195,462 agents are stupid, or your query is, maybe! Potential topics might include: "Who is a better role model for office fashion, Debbie Harry or Karen O?" (Debbie Harry, but only until we can afford Rodarte), "How do you stay in top fighting form?" (Very rare grass-fed steak on the highly infrequent occasion we can afford it, Maker's on the rocks, and running twenty miles a week), or "Can I get a job in publishing with a mohawk?" (Yes. We were surprised, too).

Also, reminders at this time to not watch The Children of Men or read Derrick Jensen would be helpful. Also, if anyone wants to send us money, encouragement, sponsorship, or fine organic groceries, that would be appreciated, too. We really do love you. And your little books, too.