More Stuff That Bores Us; Or, Knock It Off, Already

People in comas, dead fiancés, being cheated on, infanticide, “a sparing style” (Yes, please! Spare us!), “this book starts in the past and ends in the future,” poetry, novels written “in the style of a screenplay,” al-Qaeda, “a story of depraved sexual torture and serial murder," conspiracy theories based on children’s television programming, the midlife crises of middle-aged men. THE MIDLIFE CRISES OF MIDDLE-AGED MEN. Are we repeating ourselves? Every week? Why yes, yes, we are. APPARENTLY IT’S NOT WORKING.

Also, it is extremely probable that you are writing a PARANORMAL YA novel. Not PARANOID.