Today's Lesson

Children and teenagers are YOUNG. Being YOUNG is not the same thing as being a MORON. One more "Happy harmless Hattie the Hippopotamus must readily rescue her friends Alan Aardvark, Pookie Possum, and Wammi Warthog from eerily evil Dee Spo Zall, Witch of the Garbage Pail, while learning a Special Lesson about Friendship!!!!!!!!" and we are going to SHOOT OURSELF.

Also, writing for young people does not mean it is suddenly okay to throw in a whole bunch of wildly inappropriate racist crap about African witch doctors or Noble Injuns. What do you think you're doing, penning ad copy for Colonizers' Quarterly? Jesus H., IT'S NOT EVEN TEN AM. AUGHHH. SEND HELP.

By "you" we do not, of course, mean YOU, dear author-friends. We know YOU would never do this to us.