Things People Like to Write About; Or, This Week is Already Off to a Bad Start

Mystical transport, multiple dimensions, advanced beings, aliens that seeded the planet Earth with the human race and their subsequent romantic endeavors, demons demons demons demons, favorite prostitutes, time travel, time-traveling pirates, time-traveling aliens, time-traveling terrorists, porn stars, offspring of porn stars, mad Russian scientists ("Is there any other kind of Russian scientist?" says "Steve").

Okay also? Maybe you had this idea to make your query letter into a rhyming poem? And to start it with "Dear 'Steve,' Hiya hot stuff!!!!"? That's not actually a good idea.