For the lady who has weathered the time I dropped out of college and ran away with the circus, the time I lived in a truck, the time I wore a blanket to school, the time I thought showering was a tool of the hegemonic capitalist state, and a number of other times perhaps best left unmentioned with equal aplomb; and who taught me three of the greatest lessons ever: trust yourself, love your friends, and make your enemies live in holy terror of your wrath: Happy Mother's Day. I love you, Mom.